So one of the drawbacks to being both the heroic type and the vampire type is that there are some nights when there just isn't anything going on. No cults are performing rituals, no ancient demons are being summoned, and there aren't even roving packs of new vampires bumming around the nightclubs, looking for snacks. Nothing.
I used to make fun of Spike for being such a pop culture fiend. Mostly, it was because I didn't understand half of the jokes he made-- usually at my expense-- because I didn't watch TV constantly. I'm busy doing good deeds.
A couple of nights ago, though, there really was nothing at all to get up to, and at three in the morning, there just isn't much on TV to choose from if you don't shell out for satellite or digital.
When it comes to movies, I'm a classicist. I loved the '30s and '40s. Well, I guess to be more specific, I loved those times in movies. The actual decades weren't always so great to me, like the whole being trapped in a submarine with Spike thing. Man, did that come back to bite me in the ass, and it wasn't even Angelus.
Anyway, when I think of good movies, I think of Casablanca and A Night at the Opera and Lost Horizon. I think of Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. Astaire and Rogers. (What?)
None of those movies were on. Instead, the local independent was running a Hammer Films "Dracula" marathon.
Don't get me wrong, Christopher Lee was about as good as it gets when it comes to movie vampires. And putting him and Peter Cushing together in Horror of Dracula to kick off the series was genius. But the movies aren't that great, even for movies with, let's say "modest", budgets. And they definitely got the vampire thing wrong in ways that even that guy Bram Stoker couldn't even dream of.
One, the "running water" thing is a crock. We can cross rivers, streams, aqueducts, storm drains, whatever. Seriously, if we couldn't walk past an underground water flow a hundred yards down or cross over a sewer, we'd never be able to get anywhere.
Stakes, yes. Crosses, yes. Holy water, yes. Sunlight and fire, yes. Silver, no. Garlic's debatable. I once met some Italian vampires who just reeked of the stuff.
The one that just makes me want to throw my shoe through the TV, though? Is when they just keep bringing him back! Dust is dust, all right? It doesn't matter how it comes, when your ticket's punched and you end up as something to sweep under the rug, that's all there is to it. No incantations, no pig's blood harvested on a third Tuesday under a purple moon, none of it's going to bring a vampire back.
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undead_handsome) wrote,
annoyed
